I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
