It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
