I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
