i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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