I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
