nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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