No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
