i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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