Apparently you make a good broom.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
