I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
