No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
