umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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