So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
