I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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