Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
