he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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