some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
