so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize