I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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