I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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