I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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