put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Randomize
