hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
