i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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