Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
