As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
