You smell like stripper and shame
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
We were destined to go to rehab together
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
