you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
