I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
