I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize