There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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