i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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