im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
