So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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