She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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