I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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