Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
