White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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