I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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