Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize