hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
