I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
