I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
