Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
