Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
