Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
