my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
