the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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