Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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