he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize