How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize