worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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