sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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