yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
