it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
