just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
