Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
