You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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