This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
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