never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
