3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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