He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
