He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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