you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
