I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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