I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
