I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize